Over the weekend my hair was falling out all over the house, alarming me and the other members of the household. Also my scalp hurt as if the hairs moving around, or even their weight, irritated their dying follicles. So Tuesday morning I got Andy to help me shave my head. It feels very strange, and looks strange, but it is much more comfortable. If you would like to see the before-during-after photo montage of the hair cut click here. I hid the photo behind a link because one person said they didn’t want to see it, so now they don’t have to, and you all have a choice. Personally, I don’t think it looks bad.
Yesterday I had the second of six chemotherapy sessions. It was more comfortable than the first one, three weeks ago, becuase I didn’t have an allergic reaction to the Rituximab this time. But because of the previous allergic reaction they did it very slowly so I was there seven hours. Last night I was more nauseous than last time but that has faded away.
I have been thinking about what a leap of faith it is that I willingly drive myself to the hospital, walk in, and sit docilely all day while people I don’t know anything about inject poison into me through a port that I let them place surgically, in order to hopefully stop a cancer that they have convinced me is in me.
Thanks for your post Saskya, and I think your radical haircut looks fine! As for the leap of faith, that is true, there is a great level of trust required.
Love the pictures. Sending all my best Saskya. A leap of faith indeed but one you’re taking on with so much grace!
Thank you Suzie
Bald is beautiful! I’m enjoying your photos and especially your sense of humor as you navigate this uncertain and unfamiliar territory. Sending virtual hugs and best wishes.
Thanks Jean!
You look beautiful Saskya with and without hair. Interesting that the dying hair follicles were so uncomfortable. I am glad you like and trust the team of doctors and nurses who are tasked with destroying your cancerous cells – necessary for this process. My best to you as you continue treatments.
The bald looks great! You have a nicely shaped head.
The analogy about a leap of faith is powerful. Glad that we can be here for you as you jump Into treatment. ?
Thanks Sammie!
You can totally pull off your new style! Glad to hear that so far the nausea’s been transient– Fingers crossed it stays that way.
Saskya, you do look good. I think you should get some robes and be a Buddhist nun for the duration.
BTW Whitney told me about your move to Bangalore. I actually know quite a few amazing folks from there, met at a shamanic conference in Vancouver. They are dancers, artists, creatives. If Prachi is interested in any of those realms, let me know (or she can connect w/ me on FB) & I can connect her up. Big hugs for your bravery and good questions with no answers.
I think it might take a little more than a hair cut for me to become a Buddhist nun, but it is a start.
I dear Saskya,
I think going to the hospital by yourself to let them treat you i the trust that keeps human communities together. Going by yourself allows you to become part of a new community, you, health experts and other patients. This is aldo a way of belonging and being part.
I think your head looks good! Dont burn it in sun. Take care, thoughts there with you.
You are right I do have to be careful not burn it in the sun. So far I am shy though, so it isn’t a problem.
You are indeed beautiful (with or without hair), brave, and have amazing grace ! Appreciating your posts and seeing comments from others – you are surrounded by love. Very glad session number two went smoothly.
Good move, to shave off the hair! Do you want me to send the light blue scarf to you? The only thing I’m worried about is the fact that Andy seems to be a better hair dresser than me. Nausea is good, I think. It means that your body is responding, not that I know… We just came back on bikes from the Espholm garden patches and boat harbour. Serenity!
I would like to use that blue scarf! But first check if it is wide enough to cover the whole head. I can’t remember the shape exactly. Andy did well, given the hair style I requested. It sounds like spring there!
The scarf is big and beautiful! I’m glad to be able to participate even in this small way. Running to the post office now…
Oh nice. Thank you Päivi
I think you look beautiful with and without hair! And I’m so glad you are sharing your stories and info! I’m sending healing wishes to you.
Thank you so much for sharing this challenging journey You seem to have such a plucky and graceful attitude towards it all. I can imagine questioning the leap of faith, especially with 7 hours to sit there and think about it.
Thanks Dellie. Yes, I still haven’t gotten used to the idea that there was/is anything wrong with me in the first place. So the whole process seems so strange.